Hello!
I have no idea who will read this, or if anyone actually will, but hello to you anyway.
So its summer, uni is finished for about three months and I'm on the hunt for a job and some voluntary work but creating a blog seemed a much more exciting prospect at 11.30pm on a Saturday night. You might be thinking "why is this student not out drinking cheap wine and £1 jelly shots, dancing like she's the greatest dancer that ever lived, and eating food that should not be consumed by a hungry wolf never mind a hungry human, before discussing her latest philosophy of life with the taxi driver?" Well I have an answer to this; I've had two nights out this week and potential sun stroke. Yes that's right, sun stroke. I should probably mention here that I live in Scotland. Yes that's right, sun stroke in Scotland.
We had one day of glorious sunshine, one short window of opportunity to free our body's of sensible clothing, sit in the park, watch the world go by and feel that summer vibe! We could treat our pasty skin to some much needed vitamin D, we could buy multi-packs of ice lolly's from Iceland, we could smell the BBQ air and we could finally accept that one guy who was wearing flip-flops back in February. After a month of wind and rain summer was finally making an appearance but we were warned it was only to last for a day so it was not to be wasted.
Unfortunately I had been out the night before we were showered in sunshine but I did not let this phase me. Not even being crushed on the subway, surrounded by school kids and feeling nauseous would stop me from finding a spot in the park and making the most of this fabulous day. So the brave soul that I am, I pushed through the sickness, dizzy spells and the shakes and off I went to the park with two of my mates.
I always feel that the sun causes us to become more cultured and we adopt a Mediterranean personality as soon as we put on them sunglasses that have sat collecting dust since the last heatwave. We'll try to look extra glamorous like the Italians, eat fresh salads with feta cheese like the Greeks and there will always be a group of lads smoking, sipping on a Stella Artois and strumming on a guitar just like in a Spanish bistro. There are men that have been pumping iron in the gym just for days like this so they can rip off their shirts like the incredible hulks that they are, and then there are women (like me) who have their sunglasses at the ready so they can look without being too obviously in awe. Isn't it brilliant!
So there we were sitting on the (damp) grass having a sophisticated game of eye spy, eating baguettes and admiring those around us. It was perfect.
After a delightful day at the park we headed home feeling happy, cheerful and sun-kissed. Little did we know we actually resembled three red lobsters that had escaped from the sea-food restaurant down the road. We had not been lightly sun-kissed, we had been harshly sun-groped by the powerful, burning rays. You're maybe thinking "what a bunch of silly girls, of course they were going to end up burnt in 24c heat!" and you'd be right to think that because yes we were stupid not to put sun cream on or cover up but I know that the majority of people have all been in the same situation; as soon as its sunny at home we all think we have some degree of immunity from the power of the sun just because we are not lying around a pool on our package holidays in Spain.
We had arranged to meet up with a friend that night for some drinks but this was obviously before we had turned into what I can only describe as three characters from Where's Wally with our red and white bodies being similar to the T-shirts they wear. Moisturiser, coconut butter and fake tan were all slapped on in an attempt to calm the flaming red into a less aggressive skin tone but they didn't work. It was time to take it to the next level and paint ourselves in foundation. Once again you might be thinking "these girls are downright fools" and looking back I completely agree but at the time it was an ingenious idea, just like going to the park was a brilliant idea and look how that turned out...
Off we went to the club with our shimmery, flawless, slightly caked in make-up arms and faces with a determination to have a good night. We sat quite a distance away from each other to prevent any touching of the arms for two reasons; firstly because our arms were painful to touch and secondly because we didn't want to accidentally brush our foundation-covered arms onto each other's clothes. Not only were we facing this problem but also as a result of the sun we were like three human radiators, any contact between the three of us and we may have completely overheated causing an explosion.
The night went on and it became busier and busier making it hotter and hotter which you can imagine is not great when you could heat up a greenhouse in winter from just one arm. The foundation I had applied so smugly to my scarlet arms melted away by the end of the night and I literally showed my true colours. I was a fake and a phony pretending that I had been sensible in our one day of summer. Embarrassed and ashamed of myself, not that anyone would notice as I was already a rosy red so there was no room for blushing, I made my way home and removed what little make-up was left.
A valuable lesson has been learned here and so with this first post I say to you pasty people like me, DO NOT put foundation on your arms if you end up sunburnt because it will just melt off.
...Oh and wear sun cream.
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